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January 08, 2007

Read This 2

I swear, what kind of country is this?, Leonard Pitts Jr.

So, as you may have heard, we've got a new Congress. The Washington Post had a very poorly thought out picture of Speaker Pelosi on the front page of the Style section which will probably be a future IT.

You may also have heard that a certain congressman swore his (not actually legally mandated) oath not on the traditional bible, but on Thomas Jefferson's Quran, prompting speculation that Thomas Jefferson owned a Quran.

Anyway, this is all little more than a historical footnote, as it wasn't really an oath required by law, and it's not like lawmakers haven't been sworn in on other things before. Pierce took the presidential oath of office on a law book. In fact, at the same time as Congressman Ellison was being sworn in on a Quran, a representative from Hawaii was being sworn in on nothing at all.

But, as always happens, a couple of people went apewire. In an act that threatens to turn "macacanated" into a word, Rep. Virgil Goode (R-Va) macacanated Ellison by launching a tirade about how we need to tighten immigration laws to stop muslims from being elected by the will of the people. Ellison is a native-born American. I'm guessing he's a third or fourth generation native-born American (Admittedly, I haven't looked into it).

The most mind-breaking attack, and the reason I am pointing you toward Mr. Pitts's article, is that of Roy Moore, who, despite his name sounding like it, is not a Wild West-era Texas Hangin' Judge, but rather the Alabama judge who causes all that commotion a while back over a big rock with the ten commandments engraved in them.

He claimed that freedom of religion demanded that Ellison be blocked from using a Quran (Quick precis: "<Roy_Moore_Voice>In America, we have freedom of religion. In Islam, you don't. Therefore Islam is incompatible with America</Roy_Moore_Voice>"). The argument isn't too far afield from the ones that (my dad tells me) were made when Kennedy was running for President -- that a Catholic would be bound by his faith to do whatever the Pope told him to, Constitution and the good of America be damned. Which is not a bad argument for limiting positions of power to atheists, but no one's making that argument (well, except for the atheists, but they've got a vested interest).

I think I'm with Pitts on this one: "Moore's argument refutes itself so effectively he must have been drinking when he wrote it."

Pitts goes on to talk about the "strain of intolerance" that hides out inthe American spirit. I think he's missing something important, though. This doesn't feel like real intolerance to me. It doesn't feel like real bigotry. Why? Because it's too flavor-of-the-weeky. It's not really that we've got a deep-down hatred of muslims, or even that we're all secretly waiting to reveal our prejudice against the abstract "Other". Right now, it's Islam that piques our fear. It used to be Communism. And so on and so on. Actually, I think America's been pretty good on the actual longstanding-prejudice front. You don't see "No Irish Need Apply" signs any more. We've stopped systematically erradicating our aboriginal population. We've got one or two longstanding racial problems, but we've kept them on a comparatively low simmer, nothing like the many years of institutionalized oppression in South Africa. Nothing like what went on in Europe in the early 40s. Real prejudice, real bigotry, is something very deep and longstanding. It's the way your grandmother uses the "N-Word", because she's been using it since she was a little girl and her daddy always used it -- and she can't even quite compute that it's wrong to use it. That's why they're so insidious and hard to get rid of -- they're burned in, and the people who have them don't even feel that they're wrong.

No, I think that prejudice and bigotry are just convenient labels for what we're really very susceptible to: Insane Fearmongering. We weren't raised this way. And we know things oughtn't to be this way. Some folks justify this (Roy Moore did) by trying to say that these are special circumstances -- that as it happens, we're at war with Islam right now (We're not, of course, but the people doing the fearmongering either think we are, or want us to think we are), so it's "justified in this special case". That's totally bogus, of course, but it's telling to me that they think they need this justification. Real racists don't feel the need to excuse or apologize for their racism. They may try to "scientifically" prove the white man superior or the black man inferior (Watch one of them try it some time, it's pretty funny), but they'll always start from the assumption that they aren't making an extraordinary claim, that their racist beliefs are obvious and inherently good. I don't think I recall ever having a notion of a person "becoming" a racist before -- racists were racists because they'd been raised that way. Now, though, we have people who weren't raised that way, people who never had any problem with this culture and this faith before, who, one day in September, half a dozen years ago, suddenly developed an unjustified distaste for a certain religion. What we have here is people who quite clearly understand that they are standing in the face of what we as Americans are supposed to believe in -- they present this sort of prejudice as a necessary evil (Actually, read that last clause twice, once with the emphasis on "necessary" and once with it on "evil"). That is, they know it's wrong, but they feel like they have to do it anyway.

I'm not sure which is worse, now that I think about it.

November 03, 2006

Atlantis is sinking; where's my ZPM?

So, unless you've been living under a rock, you know by now that a little while ago, former presidential hopeful (some people who are not me would say "former presidential winner") John Kerry commited what might generously be described as a bit of a faux-pas by superhero Incredible Understatement Man. Basically, thanks to a missing word, Kerry answered the long-standing question: Given all the hot water the Republicans have been in over the past month, what will the Democrats do to blow this oppertunity?

What he said was:

Education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq.

What he meant to say was:

Education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get us stuck in Iraq.

Now look, I think it's pretty obvious that Vietnam Veteran John Kerry did not actually mean to insult our troops. Aside from the fact that doing such a thing is rather counter to the man's general political views, it would be such a ridiculously dumb thing to do that there's no concievable political advantage in doing it. Even if you did believe it, no one with any political saavy at all would get up and say "That Hitler chap had some nice ideas," because there is no way that saying this would help your political carreer (Well, okay, there are probably some isolated communities where calling someone a "Macaca" would actually win you votes). This is why politicans lie so much -- because if they got up and said what they really thought, no one would elect them. And, again, that's if he actually thought that our troops were dumb. Which he doesn't.

This is part of a concept we cynical folks call "Hanlon's Razor": Never attribute to malice what could be equally well explained by stupidity.

Now, Fred Clark, one of the most reasonable and levelheaded thinkers in the blogosphere says that Kerry's intention was perfectly clear and that anyone who claims otherwise is being dishonest to score political points. Well, I agree at the end of the sentence, and disagree at the beginning. I do think it's obvious that Kerry wasn't trying to call our troops stupid, and I think that's obvious, and I think that the people saying otherwise break down into the usual two groups: liars and dupes-of-the-liars.

What I disagree with is that it was in any way obvious what he was trying to say. Those little words are important, and it wasn't until I heard the "corrected" (or "retconned") version of the quote that I understood how what he said could have been meant as a direct insult to the administration.

Those of you who aren't comfortable with shades of gray will no doubt be saying at this point: "But how could you think he wasn't insulting our troops if you didn't see how he could be insulting the administration? It's got to be one or the other!"

As usual, it doesn't, and that is the lie that the pundits are selling America: that if you don't buy that he was slamming the administration, he was obviously slamming the troops (Of course, the perrenial lie of this group of pundits is that the two are one in the same, which makes for some interesting metaphysics)

In fact, what it sounded for all the world like to me, this quote in its original form, was a morally neutral warning that was bizarre in that it was being delivered in the mid twenty-aughts rather than in the late ninteen-sixties. What it sounded like, to me, was a line out of Hearts in Atlantis (The book, not the movie. I haven't seen the movie, but as I understand it, whatever its merits, it only covers about a quarter of what's in the book; the book Hearts in Atlantis is an anthology of linked stories. The film is based on the first story, "Low Men in Yellow Coats", about a guy who can read people's minds. The actual story "Hearts in Atlantis" is about a bunch of college kids during the Vietnam war, who become obsessed with playing a card game amid the social upheavals of the period. Well, okay, it's about a lot more than that, but I'm already way off track. The salient point for this discussion is that the protagonist is in college, and he spends so much of his time playing hearts that his grades are suffering). Our hero comes home for some holiday, and his grades are bad enough that falling out of college is a real possibility, and his brain-injured father channels Forrest Gump to drop on him this little bit of wisdom (Heavily paraphrased on account of my copy of Hearts in Atlantis is not ready to hand): "Boys who don't do well in their studies are dying in Vietnam."

That's what Kerry's comment sounded like to me. Not an insult, not "If you're stupid, you join the army", but a very direct warning: "If you get thrown out of college, you will be drafted." Let's face it, getting drafted can't be much fun. I think most people would agree that one of the things most praiseworthy about our troops today is that they all chose to serve our country.

And that's what made the whole thing seem surreal to me. Because people aren't getting drafted, and they did away with college deferrals anyway.

"But," one of you says (you know who you are), "That's just a silly thing for it to mean. Why didn't you reject that interpretation out of hand and assume he was insulting our troops instead?"

Well, obviously, I did reject that interpretation. It didn't make sense in context. Neither does the suggestion that Kerry wanted to call American troops stupid. But this was enough to convince me that what he meant was not in any way obvious from what he said. And I find it troubling that the folks in power are advocating this (with apologies to the many fine people in a certain Baltimore suburb) "Dundalk attitude" that looks, desperately, for any possible derrogatory meaning in a vague sentence, then assumes it's true, because they like the idea of kicking your ass for talking shit about their momma.

Because if you don't pay attention to Hanlon's Razor, someone's going to get cut.

October 31, 2006

The 30 Year Old Virgin

http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2006-10-30-abstinence-message_x.htm

Turns out that the administration wants to include folks all the way up to the age of 29 in their "abstinence-only" agenda ("Abstinence only" being code for "Not taking any responsibility for your own sexual health and comfort").

I have all kinds of angry and reasonable reactions to this, but there's this one little silver lining that I want to share with you:

Civil disobedience has never looked so damned good.

November 06, 2005

It's the end of everything

Yes. Yes. To hold in my hand, a capsule that contained such power. To know that life and death on such a scale was my choice. To know that the tiny pressure on my thumb, enough to break the glass, would end everything. Yes. I would do it. That power would set me up above the gods. And through the Daleks I shall have that power!
-- Doctor Who, "Genesis of the Daleks"

Suppose you had the power to destroy the world. I'm not saying you asked for it. You just sort of happened upon it. And now it's yours. What would you do?

Because the power to destroy the world has been found. It's here: plotpatents.com.

Boing Boing and GrokLaw have reported on the fact that a clever little law firm has come up with a clever little idea. They've applied for a patent on a plot.

I've hung out in various fandoms over the course of my life. Many of these are slightly, well, crazy places. One of the phrases you hear from time to time fits the formula of "The producers of [object of fannish obsession] should sue! That episode of [show other than the object of fannish obsession] ripped off the plot of [episode of object of fannish obsession]!" They say this a lot, partly because they don't know better, but mostly because they don't care, and don't really expect anything to come of it.

Because: it's not illegal to rip off someone else's plot. You can't copyright a plot. You can't own a plot. For that matter, very few people actually invent new plots. This isn't because people lack creativity or invention, but because plots are fairly simple creatures. Depending on who you ask, there are only between ten and thirty distinct plots. Shakespeare didn't invent any of his plots.

Patents are a good idea, or, at least, they were. Giving the inventor a decade or so to make his invention commercially viable is a great way to (a) encourage people to invent and (b) encourage people to not keep their inventions secret. But as the rate of technological advancement increases, we start running into problems: things that get patented these days stand a good chance of being totally obsolete by the time the patent expires. But that's not really the point.

The point is, that the purpose of patents is right there in the constitution. It's to encourage invention. But that's not what they're being used for. They're being used to stifle invention. And in this case, it's the end of everything. With just a few patents, you could completely sew up all of creativity and make it illegal to compose any art without a license for the next couple of years.

And, of course, that's their goal. Well, not to actually stop people from creating, but to force people to pay them to do it. Which means that only those who can afford to will be allowed to. Nothing new under the sun. Ever again.

This can not be allowed to happen. It shouldn't happen, but how much can we really expect from the Patent Office? The folks who work at the patent office can't seriously be expected to have the range and depth of expertise to handle everything that comes at them, as evidenced by some of the recent software patents. These are very dedicated people who work very hard, but can not possibly keep up. Which means that, especially with the weight of Money behind them, some plot patents are liable to slip through at one point. At which point it's game over.

Pity. I rather liked having an imagination.

October 20, 2005

Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Be seeing you.

By request, my results at politopia.

September 19, 2004

The Triumph of the First Ammendment

Okay. I promised not to make my next entry about sex (Which is why I'm not going to tell you the story of what happened to me this past Friday -- except to say that I won Suicide Karaoke again), so I'll choose a nice safe topic. Religion.

This is already making the rounds, but hey, every little bit helps. I was just handed this link about an exceptional incident on the subway.

If you're too lazy to read the article yourself, here's a quick precis: Subway Evangelist decries the inherent satanism of homosexuality (The Dark Prince is a little light in the hooves, it seems. Come on, folks. It doesn't count as gay sex if satan shoves a red-hot poker up your ass. Unless you like it.). Author responds with show-tunes. And then it happens again, with the new preacher claiming that "Gay devils are controlling New York" (And here, I thought it was the five jew bankers [2 points]).

And this, in my opinion, is a victory for freedom of speech. At this point, you're probably asking yourself: What's this guy smoking? But though this be madness, there's method in it.

A lot of people, in their outrage at the hatemongers, would go as far as to say that the racists, the homophobes, and the religious nutcases (I want to make it absolutely clear that "religious" does not imply "nutcase". If it did, I wouldn't have to use both words) should not be allowed to espouse their beliefs. There's some merit to this argument (There are several European countries where they've decided that the need to protect the public from hate speech outweighs the freedom of expression, and have banned, for example, Nazi propaganda), but it's not one I support. I just have a problem with the fact that the people who preach tolerance and acceptance have so much trouble tolerating and accepting those who don't share those views -- It's wrong to oppress someone's beliefs, unless their belief is that it's okay to oppress someone's beliefs. Maybe even more importantly, your friendly neighborhood hatemongering evangelist often comes armed with an unfounded persecution complex -- thinking that a mostly-atheistic world is trying to crush and oppress the word of God (And ban the bible). The most important thing about this belief is that it's unfounded. The last thing I want if for them to be right.

So, the first triumph of Freedom of Speech here is that, as much as we may disapprove of what our Urban Apostle was saying, we accept her right to say it.

But that doesn't mean we have to just sit back and take it. Now, you're probably thinking that a rational discourse and debate would be a more mature way to deal with this situation. The problem is that you're dealing with someone who believes that the world is run by a conspiracy of sub-human homosexuals who actively engage in servitude to the source of all evil, and that the perfect and omnipotent creator of the universe has personally chosen them to decry this evil, and, despite the weight of biblical evidence, sanctions their righteous hate of those who disagree with them. This is not an argument within the domain of logical discourse. Their argument isn't based on logic and reason, and to respond with it isn't just ineffective -- it's not really apropriate. So the second triumph of free speech is that the author responded in kind to what was, in essence, an attack as logically absurd as, to give a totally random example, singing showtunes.

And when you've got rhythm, and you've got subway fare, who can ask for anything more?
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