This Christmas season, I've decided to offer you a holiday twofer. And since I'm going to be out of town on Sunday, you're going to get it today.

I tried to come up with a good Komodo Dragon Virgin Birth joke, but they all seemed a little two obvious (except for "It's a Woodland Critter Christmas/Hail satan," but that's been done). So instead, here's something different.

(Via Google News)

Man, that isa downer.

And now, I unveil my new Christmas Carol:

Rudy, the blind old hunter,
Had a very shiny gun,
And since he lives in Texas,
He's allowed to have some fun.
All of the other hunters,
Quickly ducked behind a tree,
They thought that Rudy's laser,
Was going to cause a killing spree.
Then one snowy Christmas eve,
Santa came to say:
"Rudy, with your laser here,
Won't you lead my hunt for deer?"
But when the police found him,
They had to let Rudy go free:
Because the late ol' Santa,
Had also invited Dick Cheney

Happy Holidays. God Bless Us, Everyone.