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So cute, yet so evil

Courtesy of http://wendy.seltzer.org/blog/archives/2006/10/06/coming_soon_kitten_with_a_eula.html

A company called Allerca will be, in the near future, selling cute little kittens. What could be wrong with cute little kittens?

Well, these have been genetically engineered. Now, my first thought was "Eeeagh! Genetic supercats with superhuman cat powers that will enslave us all!" My second thought was, "I for one welcome our new kitten overlords."

But it turns out that this is genetic engineering used for the boring old purposes of good, not evil. These cats are hypoallegenic. Finally, science has invented a cat which will not inflame the allergies of unfortunate cat-allergy-sufferers.

But every sliver lining's got a cloud. We've got CUTE LITTLE KITTENS (good), we've got KITTENS OF SCIENCE (good), we've got HYPOALLEGENIC KITTENS (good). That's plainly too much good in one place. Fortunately for universal karma, the fluffy goodness is exactly balanced out by the fact that we've got one other thing: we've got KITTENS WITH A EULA (Eeeeevil! Eeeevil from the Dawn of Tiiiiime!)

For yes, dear friend, if you click on their convenient Buy-a-kitten link, you are presented with their clickware license, whch explains that:

1. These kittens have a dominant hypoallegenic gene, and could pass it on to all their progeny. This is why they will not sell you a cat that hasn't been neutered, so you can't breed your own.
2. You are not allowed to let the cats out of your house, where they can interact with inferior mundane mortal cats.
3. You can not sell or give your cat to anyone else (excepting family members). You can not buy one of these ubercats as a gift. If you tire of your cat, you cant give it to anyone else.

That third one there gets rid of what we call the right of "first sale", that little thing that lets you divest yourself of your own property in the way you see fit. You see it a lot with software licenses, but there's some legal debate as to whether they can actually do that. Could you imagine buying a car or a house, and being told you were not legally allowed to sell it again later?

I can imagine the scenario: Johnny had a cat that he didn't want to keep. He tried and he tried to give the cat away, he gave it to a man going far, far away. But the cat came back, he didn't stay away; he was sitting on the porch on the very next day. The cat came back, he didn't want to roam; the very next day, he was home sweet home. And he brought his lawyers.

Oh, any my third thought?
Doctor Who: New Earth

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