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November 30, 2005

Bye Bye Miss American Edit

Previously, on A Mind Occasionally Voyaging...

Dean Gray's American Edit was a great little free release that mixed some Greenday songs with some non-Greenday songs.

Today, BoingBoing reports that the music industry has killed American Edit.

Okay. I kinda saw this coming. But it still hurts. The creative force behind American Edit wasn't making money at someone else's expense. He wasn't hurting sales of anyone else's product. No one was hurt. No one was deprived of anything. But the music industry disapproved. So this art must go.

Somewhere along the line, we lost track of things. The entire justification of copyright and patent law in the United States is, "To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts," (Article 1, Section 8 of the US Constitution). I can't even remember the last time I heard of copyright law being used that way. And this case points out that what it's become isn't even "To ensure that the maker of something extracts the maximum possible money from it." Today, intellectual "property" law exists for one reason and one reason only: to suppress the creation of new art. The idea today is that you stake out a claim on an area of the noosphere and put a fence around it, stopping anyone else from using it. It's a notion that might make sense for resources that are exclusive (like land), but makes zero sense for an inexhaustible resource like thought. Could you imagine someone buying up all the air, and then denying it to anyone who couldn't pay (or, for that matter, denying it to people who could pay, but who the owner wanted dead for whatever reason)?

The whole point of copyright, in the beginning, was to ensure the existence of a creative commons -- that common pool of background thoughts and ideas which inspire new creation. Look at the patent. The point of the patent is not to stop other people from using your idea -- there's a much better way to do that. Guess what: the formula for Coca Cola isn't patented. The exclusivity that a patent grants is not its purpose: it's the reward. The decade head-start you get on your competitors is your payment for not keeping your invention a secret. The whole idea of a patent is that the government effectively "buys off" an inventor to release the full details of his new invention to the public by selling him a temporary monopoly.

And likewise, the whole point of copyright was to make it possible for an artist to make a living at art without the patronage system. See, back in the day, the way artists got paid was that they were hired by rich people to make some art. You didn't need copyright laws, because there was no money in copying existing art: the market for portraits of the Duke of Florence is pretty well exclusive to, well, the Duke of Florence himself. The idea behind copyright, again, was to ensure a creative commoms. It meant that, as an artist, I didn't have to wait for a commission to paint a painting. I could paint whatever I liked, and if the Duke happened to like it, he'd have to buy it from me, instead of hiring some other guy to make a copy of it (Of course, the money was probably better with a patron anyway, so long as you only intended to work when there was an interested patron nearby). With copyright, I could paint things that were not of immediate value to someone specific, and still make a living at it. Hence, more paintings get made, and everybody wins. And there's the key phrase: more paintings get made.

Copyright doesn't do that any more. In fact, what copyright does now is institutionalize a kind of "uberpatronage". Under the old system, the most a patron could do is not hire you. Now, the patron (read: the music industry) can go out and stop you from creating new stuff. We used to have a creative commons, and it used to get bigger as each artist added new material. It used to be about making the noosphere bigger. Now, it's about putting up walls and saying "this part of human experience belongs to us, and no one is allowed to expand it."

But read the BoingBoing article. It says most of the same things without the incoherence brought on by my annoyance.

For what it's worth, there are some folks who plan to protest the disappearance of American Edit by posting the albumb on-line en masse. I'm not participating, since I don't believe my disapproval of the system gives me license to break the law (Of course, not being a lawyer, I'm not actually sure this would even be illegal). But this certainly seems like as good a time as any to share your concerns over intellectual property laws with your local lawmaker.

By the way, if this article inspires you in some way, and you come up with your own thoughts using this as a starting point and want to print them somewhere.... As far as I'm concerned, that's a win for both of us. Go to it.

November 27, 2005

Inappropriate Thoughts 18: RIPPED FROM REAL LIFE

Today's IT isn't really my own thought, just one I was fortunate enough to be a witness to.

This is a map of Crofton, MD, where my girlfriend and I went last weekend on a visit to her cousin. That star is just the center of the map, the intersection of Hyman Lane and Duke of Kent Drive.

IT18

And the blue square? That's where the road sign for Duke of Kent Drive is, on which someone's replaced the "e" with a "u".

November 27, 2005

Random Tenish

Mommy's all right; Daddy's all right; They just seem a little weird...

1. Somebody Told Me, The Killers
2. The Lion Sleeps Tonight, The Tokens
3. She's Like the Wind, Patrick Swayze
4. Hungry Like the Wolf, Duran Duran
5. Bubbletoes, Jack Johnson
6. That'll Be The Day, Buddy Holly
7. Surrender, Cheap Trick

8-10 have been omitted in light of the length of last week's list.

November 27, 2005

Survival of the fittest

Courtesy of Mike the Mad Biologist.

You know, for a long time, I didn't really understand why evolution "mattered", from a pragmatic standpoint. I mean, yes, it's always better to be right than to be wrong, but what with evolution taking many many times the human lifespan to do anything remotely interesting, it seemed like it might be very good at answering abstract hypotheticals, and not very good at doing anything practical. Not that there was anything wrong with that, since I happen to be a big fan of abstract, impractical intellectual pursuits. But, so far as I could tell, if you wanted to disbelieve in evolution, the worst that would happen is that those of us who are actually interested in reality would make fun of you, and that would be so far as it went.

And this is one of the problems that those of us on the reality-based (that is, "right") side of the argument face: evolution is a pretty complex subject, and most people who aren't in the relevant field only understand its most basic parts. And one consequence of this is that it doesn't seem like there's much at stake.

I suspect that fewer people would be fooled by anti-evolutionary pseudoscience if they understood what the principles of evolution really were (or, for that matter, what science really is).

So here it is, here's why it matters: Avian flu evolution. If evolution doesn't happen, then we have nothing to fear from the avian flu. Flu vaccines can be developed only by understanding how viruses evolve.

I see a lot of very angry, very wrongheaded bumper stickers these days of the form "You CAN'T be a christian and believe in (thing the religious right disapproves of)!" as if they were declaring themselves the sole arbiters of God's will. These bumper stickers piss me off.

But what the hell. I'll say it: You CAN'T be a creationist and believe in vaccines.

Well, actually, you can. It's not logical, but it's the way things are. See, most of the people on that side of the argument don't really have a systematic way to structure their beliefs. They're just a random assortment of facts. They don't believe in evolution, and they think those of uis who do are doing Satan's work. But they won't bat an eyelash at benefiting from things that can only work if evolution is true, because it's advantageous for them to do so. This is one of the reasons we need theologians on our side in this argument: they don't believe in rationality, so a logical argument isn't going to work (at least, not in the usual way).

But it's a place to start. It's a thing to bring up. When a creationist friend mentions their concern over avian flu, tell them that creationism precludes the possibility of an avian flu epidemic. It's a place to start.

November 25, 2005

Eternity alone, and hardly any swag

[2 points]

As well you know, I am not above occasional self-promotion. I hope it doesn't become too annoying, and I hope that I'll always be able to couch it in something you'll find worthwhile otherwise.

I've mentioned three or so times by now that a few years ago, I wrote a game, Moments out of Time, which won some awards. You can find its specific webpage here, and there's a new thing on that page.

Interactive Fiction as it exists today owes a good 90 percent of its stylistic and technological trappings to the work of Infocom, the company that produced virtually all of the best works of IF to ever come from the commercial era. One of the absolute coolest things about Infocom's games was that they came in a box full of swag.

We call this stuff "feelies". These were little physical and printed objects which had some relevance to the game world. Typically, at least one of them would contain some hint (or, even more frequently, copy protection) to the game, and the rest would just be cute little game-enhancing toys. A Mind Forever Voyaging, this blog's namesake, shipped with a tourist map of the game's location and a pen, branded with the logo of one of the companies mentioned in the game, as well as a couple of other cool things. Infocom's The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy included a "Don't Panic" badge, pocket fluff, orders of destruction for your home and planet, a microscopic space fleet, and peril-sensitive (that is, opaque) sunglasses.

Feelies kinda went the same way that printed manuals did. But, just as you were amazed to find that people still write IF, you'll be amazed to find that a very few IF writers still commission feelies which you can order on-line.

Though technically, I didn't do that. What I did do was to slap the game's logo on some merchandise. And you can now buy said merchandise for a modest fee. I think it's a pretty cool looking logo, and I think that if you liked the game, it makes a nifty clock or coffee mug. Heck, even if you didn't play the game, I think it looks pretty neat on a clock or coffee mug.

So, buy a nifty Moments out of Time T-shirt, click, or mug. You can click on the cafepress badge below, or follow this link: http://www.cafepress.com/streamdive.

In the future, I hope to whip up some more cool swag, and I'll announce any cool new items here. Enjoy!

November 22, 2005

Little Jackie Paper Sure Plays a Mean Pinball

[3 points -- but only because my Jackie Paper identification skills netted us some extra points at trivia this week]

Hereabouts, Boingboing -- probably the fastest way to find cool stuff on the internet -- brought my attention to, surprise of surprises, a cool thing on the internet.

Dean Gray's American Edit. It's an album of remixes of the songs of Greenday's latest album with an assortment of other songs which could only have been chosen by a random number generator. If you found "Eminenya" (A medley of The Real Slimshady and -- I am not making this up -- Orrinoco Flow) halfway as amusing as I did, you'll want to give this one a look.

One thing I've always liked about Greenday is that all their songs sound different. I mean, seriously, it's not all that easy to accept that Good Riddance, When I come around, American Idiot and Boulevard of Broken Dreams are all by the same group. Contrast that with some other groups. Heck, I think most of Ace of Base's songs are pretty good, but if you play the album from one end to the other, unless you're paying close attention, you won't even notice that you've heard more than one song. And Dave Matthews, seminal though he was to my experience of music during my college years, is even worse. But Greenday's stuff all sounds different. And now they sound even more different (Though it's a little scary how well Boulevard of Broken Dreams mixes with Oaisis's What's the Story Morning Glory).

As the Boingboing link points out, there's even a Doctor Who remix. But what they don't point out is a bit of wonderful recursion (recursive (adj.): see recursive). The song isn't being mixed with the theme from Doctor Who. It's being mixed with Doctorin' The TARDIS, an 80s single by "The Timelords" (which was originally released on the gimmick of gimmicks, a square CD), which is itself an experiment of the very same sort, mixing the Doctor Who theme with Gary Glitter's Rock and Roll Part 1. It's a remix of a remix.

Dr. Who On Holiday is a pretty good song, but of the ones I've listened to so far, I think my own favorite is Boulevard of Broken Songs. But check it out, see what you like.

One last bit of metaness in this whole project. One of the best known -- in addition to being my personal favorite -- songs on the original album is Boulevard of Broken Dreams. It takes its name from a pretty famous painting of the same name, which shows Humphrey Bogart, James Dean, and Marilyn Monroe in a diner with no doors. Boulevard of Broken Dreams is a medly of sorts itself. It's a parody of Edward Hopper's Nighthawks.

Updated 11/25: D'oh. I incorrectly identified the Oaisis song used in Boulevard of Broken Songs as What's the Story Morning Glory. It is, in fact, Wonderwall. I apologize for all the pain and suffering caused by my lack of research. My Bad.

November 20, 2005

Inappropriate Thoughts 17: Cats!

My sister rescued Sassy when she found her half-frozen in a puddle of water by the side of the road. Every once in a while, I've had to cat-sit Sassy. We have lots of fun, teaching her not to hide in the coal chute, teaching her that the knobs on the gas range do not want to play with her. Cats are cute.

IT17

Sassy, do not play with the nuclear reactor.

November 20, 2005

Random Eighteen

You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress

Please excuse any typographical errors. My girlfriend is visiting this weekend, and her head is on my lap. For obvious reasons, I am easily distract... Where was I?

1. Sunny Came Home, Shawn Colvin
2. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, Wham
3. Georgia, Carolyn Dawn Johnson
4. Accidentally in Love, Counting Crows
5. Breathe, Faith Hill
6. Summer Nights, John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John
7. Hooked on a Feeling, BJ Thomas
8. Alone, Heart
9. Kiss Me, Sixpence None the Richer
10. White Wedding, Billy Idol
11. That's What Love Can Do, Boy Krazy
12. Somewhere Out There, Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram
13. Hallelujah, Rufus Wainright
14. Mr. Brightside, The Killers
15. Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Greenday
16. Stacy's Mom, Fountains of Wayne
17. Falling for the First Time, Barenaked Ladies
18. Breathless, The Corrs

And now, AMOV presents the Random Ten FAQ (Check out the [read more] for the answers)

Q. Hey, that's eighteen. That's not ten! What gives?
Q. Hey, isn't it traditional to do a Random Ten on Fridays, not Sundays?
Q. Hey! These aren't random at all! You're supposed to put the first ten songs produced by shuffle on your iPod. If you're not cool enough to have an iPod, you're not allowed to play!
Q. Hey, you keep listing the same songs. How lame is that?

A. It's my damned blog and I'll do as I damned well please.

Till next time...

November 16, 2005

I Wish I Had Said This

Mike the Mad Biologist once wrote an article entitled "I Wish I Had Said This". And now, thanks to him, so have I.

Confessions of a Lasped Creationist IDer, itself a commentary on this, reiterates the point I keep making: Intelligent Design isn't just bad for science, it's bad for religion.

And more, he says some of the things I haven't gotten around to. This goes beyond ID. I'm getting steadily more and more annoyed by the tacit acceptance that my side of these arguments keeps showing for one of the fundamental claims of the other side.

Namely, the bit where they insist we're all atheists.

I keep seeing it over and over again. In the evolution debate. In the gay rights debate. In the school prayer debate. The people on the other side say "God says this," and the people on my side come back with, "Well, we respect your beliefs, but we don't think we should rely on God in matters of public policy." In other words, "Okay. I'll grant you that God is on your side, but that shouldn't matter."

Folks, this is a losing argument. For one thing, we're not fighting on equal grounds. They keep accusing us of atheism and we keep letting them. We're also not going to win over any converts if we keep saying "God shouldn't matter." We need people of faith on our side -- we need people to stand up and say "No, you are wrong about the will of God. You don't know the mind of God, you're just usurping Him to promote your own agenda." We are just as mistaken to try to attack a religious argument on purely non-religious grounds as they are to attack a scientific argument on purely religious grounds.

When we win the evolution argument isn't when we make those simpleminded religious fools realize there's no God. When we win is when we make people of faith realize that evolution isn't a treat to their faith. When we make them realize that you can too believe in God and trust in evolution. When we make them realize that science isn't about denying God, or looking for ways around God, but about finding out how this universe that God made for us works.

We're not doing our part. We're saying "God is not on our side, but choose us anyway," when we should be saying "God is too on our side." We're granting that it's either/or, when it's not. Science does not ask nor answer theological questions -- science can no more disprove God than it can prove Him. Religion does not ask nor answer scientific questions -- and when some people try to pretend it does, we really ought to call them on it.

I'm just glad I'm not the only one who's noticed.

November 16, 2005

IFComp 2005

Okay, so I somehow overlooked the fact that The 11th Annual Interactive Fiction Competition started on October 1 of this year, and finished today. But I guess it's my duty to advocate it all the same.

The Interactive Fiction competition is an annual even sponsored by the denizens of rec.arts.int-fiction. It started back in the mid '90s to encourage the writing of short text adventures, and has (for better or worse) sort of become the centerpiece of the text adventure community.

That's right. I said text adventures (though we prefer the term "interactive fiction"). People still play those. In fact, people still write those. In fact, there were 36 entries in the competition this year, and there are still more games released that weren't entered in the competition. I'd go as far as to say that the IF community is one of the most prolific and consistently talented indie-game communities.

And these aren't your father's text games. We've been at this for a good twenty years now, and we've gotten good at it. Thanks to the tools that exist today, even a novice can produce something fairly professional (Which is not to say that you don't need to be a programmer. Some of the less advanced systems will make this claim, but writing a game -- any game -- requires the kind of systematic thinking that not everyone is good at. It has nothing to do with knowing where to put the semicolons, but it has everthing to do with thinking like a programmer). Gone are the days of a two word parser where you have to get the phrasing exactly right (well, most of the time, anyway). Gone (well, most of the time, anyway) are the days of random, plotless dungeon crawls without any sense of character or narrative, and puzzles with no motivation. Authors of these games are half writer, half engineer, and some of them are very good at it.

Also, you can play them on your PDA. Some people like that.

It's no longer strictly true that these games don't have pictures -- many of them don't, but an increasing number of IF games are illustrated, but these images are in addition to the text, like an illustration in a novel -- sometimes even approaching the level of a graphic novel.

But yes, Virginia, people still write text adventures -- even in this day and age where polygon counts and framerates are king. And I actually find it a little strange that people find this hard to understand. Is anyone surprised that people still write books even though the moving picture has been around for over a century?

And we're getting some media attention. No less a publication than The Wall Street Journal recently ran a piece on Interactive Fiction.

Why, there are even people who think they can make money on Interactive Fiction (They're wrong, of course, except maybe in the cellphone market. If your further meanderings mention Howard Sherman, I'd suggest you avoid his games: they're crap. And the claims he's made about the sales of his games are almost certainly misleading. If his claims are correct, he's sold 100,000 copies of his games, and at $20 each, that's a better way to get rich than helping Nigerian businessmen smuggle money out of the country).

Anyway, there was, as I mentioned, a competition. Somehow, I failed to notice this year, but a bunch of people didn't, and I think it says more about me being all hung up in my own life than anything else. This year's winner was Vespers by Jason Devlin. Tied for second were Beyond by Roberto Grassi, Paolo Lucchesi and Alessandro Peretti, and A New Day by Alexandre own Muniz. Congrats, guys.

Now, as previously mentioned, I've sold out (if you don't believe me, check those Google ads at the bottom of the page. And if anything sounds remotely interesting to you, please click on it.). So I'd be remiss if I stepped down from my bully pulpit without mentioning that a few years ago, I myself took second place in the IFComp. The page for the game I did it with is here. So if you're looking for a game to vitalize your own interest... Well, actually, mine might not be the best game to start with (It's not really representative of the format, and it's got some bugs that I can't fix, having lost the source code in a crash a few months ago). But it's a game to start with, and I even built a self-installer for it.

>POST ARTICLE
You can't do that yet; you haven't come up with a clever one-liner to end it.

If you seriously do want to get into IF, a good place to start is with the collected works of Adam Cadre, who happens to have written several of what I consider the best IF games ever written. http://adamcadre.ac/if.html

But there's a lot out there, and I haven't really kept track of my own favorite games in years. You can Google for yourself to find some good ones. Here's just a few links to get you started:

The Interactive Fiction Archive: This is the beginning and the end of where all IF comes from. The official clearinghouse for modern IF.
Baf's Guide To The Interactive Fiction Archive: A huge index of all the games on the archive, most of them with reviews.
Grand Text Auto: A blog frequently about IF and related things, and the thing on my blogroll that I was checking when I discovered that the comp had ended this year.
ifMUD: A MUD (Technically, though for our purposes, just a chatroom with props) frequented by folks who like IF -- discussion rarely stays on that topic for long, but if you want to find some people who can point you in the right direction in real-time, this is the place to ask.

November 13, 2005

Metarandom Ten

Okay, so the rotation at karaoke was long this week, and I only got to sing a very few songs, and they've all appeared on this list too many times recently. So instead of the usual ten, I'm going to depart from the normal format and present you with ten links to the Random Tens of other people of whose taste in music I approve. It's a Random Ten by Ten.

1. Slacktivist. Brothers In Arms is probably my favorite song these days.
2. snooble dot com. Sunday Bloody Sunday is a song of which I approve with great vigour.
3. Thistles For Breakfast. Okay. Bob's Random Ten this week turned up both Fall Down, which is one of my Karaoke songs, and The Theme From Knight Rider, thus qualifying his list as excellent.
4. Rox Populi. Brian Wilson is an old favorite of mine, but what puts this one on my list is Bathwater, which is my sister's favorite song to sing at Karaoke.
5. Blatherskite , mostly for Don't Fear The Reaper, but Bush as Dictator is funny enough to merit a mention.
6. Super! Geek's 27 because In The Car has been stuck in my head for days. Also, any song about Metroid is okay in my book.
7. Stitching For Sanity for That's Just What You Are, which I would totally sing at karaoke if I were a chyk and they had it (And based on what happened last week, that first one is not really a dealbreaker). The inclusion of Jeremy causes this one to make the list instead of the most recent edition.
8. Randon Ravings For including U2's cover of All Along The Watchtower which is my non-current favorite song. The U2 cover is probably my third favorite version at the moment (my favorite is sure to appear in a regular ten in the future).
9. A Likely Story! Back in may, randomly produced not only American Idiot, The Middle and Brian Wilson, but also my favorite Karaoke Host's regular song, Wherever You Will Go, not to mention a song by Toad The Wet Sprocket.
10. B12 Partners Solipsism They got I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles), they got What I like about you, they got I got you (I feel good), but most of all, they've got Ice Cream. And I've got my ten.

See you next week.


November 13, 2005

Inappropriate Thoughts 16: Implied Nudity

Tonight, the second IT based on the theme of "My friends wearing bras on their heads". Here's hoping they don't object.


Who's the leader of the club
That's made for you and me?
A-L-C O-H-O-L B-O-O-Z-E

November 11, 2005

But you don't have to take my word for it...

[2 points]

So, a little while ago, I posted this: The design IS intelligent. My premise was simple and threefold:

1. "Intelligent Design" is bad science
2. "Intelligent Design" is bad religion
3. "Intelligent Design" isn't actually all that intelligent of a design

But, of course, all I can say doesn't mean a whole lot to your average creationist intelligent design proponent, because they've already decided that I am:

1. Too deeply invested in the massive conspiracy of scientists to hide all evidence of the One Truth
2. An atheist
3. Possessed by Satan

None of these things are true, and I'm offended that they think that. But, well, reason is not the strong suit of ID proponents. In my last article, I referenced a few people even smarter than me, but I doubt their opinion counts for much either. Maybe this one won't either.

But guess who else agrees with me.

The Vatican.

No, really.

THE Vatican has issued a stout defence of Charles Darwin, voicing strong criticism of Christian fundamentalists who reject his theory of evolution and interpret the biblical account of creation literally. (Martin Penner, The Austrialian)

That's right, folks. The Church back in Rome says that Evolution is perfectly compatible with the Bible. The mechanics of how the universe got created are outside the scope of the Bible. Science is about how; religion is about why. Incidentally, the Church also accepts that the Big Bang theory is completely in keeping with the Bible. Maybe it was just where I came from, but when I was younger, that used to be the hot topic between "believers" and "unbelievers".

So, maybe this helps, maybe not. I suspect that most of the folks on the ID side of the debate don't really recognize the authority of the Vatican, but I'd like to hope even they couldn't accuse a Cardinal of atheism with a straight face.

It's not supposed to be religion vs. science. We're the ones who made it that way. Maybe when I get the nerve up, I'll try to speak to why we made it that way. But it's not the only way, and it's not the right way. I've said it. Cardinal Poupard said it. For that matter, St. Augustine of Hippo said it: we want to understand what it is we believe. When we turn our back on the inconvenient bits of science, we stop trying to understand the world. God created an awful lot of world. Seems kind of rude of us to ignore it.

November 09, 2005

Inappropriate Thoughts 15: Two For The Price of One

You know, this week I was all set up to finally be on time with a post. But life intervened, and I've had some issues with my Movable Type installation. Fortunately, the fine folks at Globat managed to get it resolved, so here it is: IT15.

This week, as a reward for your patience, I nave not one, but two thoughts to go along with an image I pulled off of MSNBC:

1. When replacing Justice O'Connor, it was important to choose a candidate with comparable cleavage.
2. Didn't they teach you? It's not polite to point at someone's cleavage?

November 06, 2005

Gender Bending Ten

Maybe some of my visitors from one of the Baltimore-area aggregators (see badges) can fill me in on what's up in the city this week. Karaoke attendence was much lighter than usual. Where was everyone?

Since it was such a slow night, two nights in a row, I got a little reckless and sang some songs totally inappropriate for my person. I also sang some songs that weren't but that's neither here nor there. Here's the list...


1. Alone, Heart
2. Tonight and the Rest of my Life, Nina Gordon
3. There She Goes, Sixpence None the Richer (Which is originally a male vocal, but that wasn't available)
4. Smooth, Santana featuring Rob Thomas
5. Another Night, Real McCoy
6. You Belong to Me, The Duprees
7. My Best Friend's Girl, The Cars
8. Mr. Brightside, The Killers
9. Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Green Day
10. Reason to Believe, Rod Stewart

Incidentally, I have decided that the original version of "There She Goes" is the optimal Meet Cute song.

November 06, 2005

It's the end of everything

Yes. Yes. To hold in my hand, a capsule that contained such power. To know that life and death on such a scale was my choice. To know that the tiny pressure on my thumb, enough to break the glass, would end everything. Yes. I would do it. That power would set me up above the gods. And through the Daleks I shall have that power!
-- Doctor Who, "Genesis of the Daleks"

Suppose you had the power to destroy the world. I'm not saying you asked for it. You just sort of happened upon it. And now it's yours. What would you do?

Because the power to destroy the world has been found. It's here: plotpatents.com.

Boing Boing and GrokLaw have reported on the fact that a clever little law firm has come up with a clever little idea. They've applied for a patent on a plot.

I've hung out in various fandoms over the course of my life. Many of these are slightly, well, crazy places. One of the phrases you hear from time to time fits the formula of "The producers of [object of fannish obsession] should sue! That episode of [show other than the object of fannish obsession] ripped off the plot of [episode of object of fannish obsession]!" They say this a lot, partly because they don't know better, but mostly because they don't care, and don't really expect anything to come of it.

Because: it's not illegal to rip off someone else's plot. You can't copyright a plot. You can't own a plot. For that matter, very few people actually invent new plots. This isn't because people lack creativity or invention, but because plots are fairly simple creatures. Depending on who you ask, there are only between ten and thirty distinct plots. Shakespeare didn't invent any of his plots.

Patents are a good idea, or, at least, they were. Giving the inventor a decade or so to make his invention commercially viable is a great way to (a) encourage people to invent and (b) encourage people to not keep their inventions secret. But as the rate of technological advancement increases, we start running into problems: things that get patented these days stand a good chance of being totally obsolete by the time the patent expires. But that's not really the point.

The point is, that the purpose of patents is right there in the constitution. It's to encourage invention. But that's not what they're being used for. They're being used to stifle invention. And in this case, it's the end of everything. With just a few patents, you could completely sew up all of creativity and make it illegal to compose any art without a license for the next couple of years.

And, of course, that's their goal. Well, not to actually stop people from creating, but to force people to pay them to do it. Which means that only those who can afford to will be allowed to. Nothing new under the sun. Ever again.

This can not be allowed to happen. It shouldn't happen, but how much can we really expect from the Patent Office? The folks who work at the patent office can't seriously be expected to have the range and depth of expertise to handle everything that comes at them, as evidenced by some of the recent software patents. These are very dedicated people who work very hard, but can not possibly keep up. Which means that, especially with the weight of Money behind them, some plot patents are liable to slip through at one point. At which point it's game over.

Pity. I rather liked having an imagination.

November 02, 2005

Inappropriate Thoughts 14: Better Late Than Never

(Insert glib excuse for being a few days late again here)

The maker's mark on an Outdoor Refuse Recepticle ("Dumpster" is a trademarked name, so misusing it would just be wrong):

Yes. Yes you are.

Obligatory badges

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