At least they're not playing "Hide the Sausage"
In light of the overwhelmingly positive response to my last column (which is to say, I haven't gotten a single hate mail for my good-natured ribbing at the expense of those elements of Japanese pop-culture which pimply american fanboys worship with a level of adulation usually reserved for Britney's Used Gum.) in the past hour, I decided to offer up another heaping helping of literary Iron Chefery from the home of jailbait in sailor suits, Mighty Jack, Miso Soup (For the life of me, I can't imagine why people like it), paper houses (Well, if you had to rebuild every time Godzilla got hungry for today's theme ingredient: Tokyo, you'd choose cheap building materials too) and Pork Joy, the magical Land of Japan.
It turns out that in the small Japanese town of Mikata, some folks are pushing to have hide-and-seek made an Olympic sport. And, as usual, I'm not making this up ("Life's bad enough without needing to invent more of it," [1 point]).
And why not? In Mikata, they have institutionalized the local past time by handing out awards to tourists who distinguish themselves by locating the locals (Oh, those wacky non-westerners. Here in the states, it's the out-of-town visitor who comes to the small town so that no one can find them.). But in recent years, Mikata has been beset by an unexpected plague (No, not zombies, though this whole town seems like it'd be a great setting for a horror movie. Think about it, folks. Tourist comes to a town where everyone's mysteriously absent, only to find that they're all hiding -- from ZOMBIES): students. These grad school experts, no doubt taking time off from their grueling curriculm of Giant Robot Piloting, Mothra-wrangling, and pubic hair sciences, have been spoiling everyone's fun by, well, being too good at the game.
I know that sounds like a silly complaint, but, come on. This is for the kids, isn't it? It's like what would happen if Tiger Woods and Jack Nickalus decided to show up and enter the local putt-putt golf tourney, or, more realistically, what happens when the other team gets that one guy on the dodgeball team who takes the whole thing way too seriously.
On the other hand, what relief is there for folks who enjoy the thrill of competitive adult (by which I mean "not child", and not "naked" -- though.... Hm.... Naked hide and seek... I must think on this some more) hide-and-seek? The Baltimore Orioles don't need to come down and ruin the local sandlot game, because, there's, y'know, Camden Yards (First person to suggest that the Baltimore Orioles might be better off playing on the sandlot will be bound, gagged with a can of Natty Bo, coated with Old Bay, and submerged in the Chesapeake Bay, where blue crabs will gnaw at their bones until the end of time.). Many childhood pleasures are denied to adults (I particularly miss those little Gerber biscuits), but why should hide-and-seek be among them?
And there's the argument for making hide-and-seek an olympic sport. The article mentioned above ends with an enthusiast's quote: "It's our dream to have hide and seek included as an Olympic sport, probably in the Olympiad after the Games following Beijing."
My dream includes hide-and-seek too. Naked hide-and-seek.
See you at the 2012 games -- if I can find you.
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It turns out that in the small Japanese town of Mikata, some folks are pushing to have hide-and-seek made an Olympic sport. And, as usual, I'm not making this up ("Life's bad enough without needing to invent more of it," [1 point]).
And why not? In Mikata, they have institutionalized the local past time by handing out awards to tourists who distinguish themselves by locating the locals (Oh, those wacky non-westerners. Here in the states, it's the out-of-town visitor who comes to the small town so that no one can find them.). But in recent years, Mikata has been beset by an unexpected plague (No, not zombies, though this whole town seems like it'd be a great setting for a horror movie. Think about it, folks. Tourist comes to a town where everyone's mysteriously absent, only to find that they're all hiding -- from ZOMBIES): students. These grad school experts, no doubt taking time off from their grueling curriculm of Giant Robot Piloting, Mothra-wrangling, and pubic hair sciences, have been spoiling everyone's fun by, well, being too good at the game.
I know that sounds like a silly complaint, but, come on. This is for the kids, isn't it? It's like what would happen if Tiger Woods and Jack Nickalus decided to show up and enter the local putt-putt golf tourney, or, more realistically, what happens when the other team gets that one guy on the dodgeball team who takes the whole thing way too seriously.
On the other hand, what relief is there for folks who enjoy the thrill of competitive adult (by which I mean "not child", and not "naked" -- though.... Hm.... Naked hide and seek... I must think on this some more) hide-and-seek? The Baltimore Orioles don't need to come down and ruin the local sandlot game, because, there's, y'know, Camden Yards (First person to suggest that the Baltimore Orioles might be better off playing on the sandlot will be bound, gagged with a can of Natty Bo, coated with Old Bay, and submerged in the Chesapeake Bay, where blue crabs will gnaw at their bones until the end of time.). Many childhood pleasures are denied to adults (I particularly miss those little Gerber biscuits), but why should hide-and-seek be among them?
And there's the argument for making hide-and-seek an olympic sport. The article mentioned above ends with an enthusiast's quote: "It's our dream to have hide and seek included as an Olympic sport, probably in the Olympiad after the Games following Beijing."
My dream includes hide-and-seek too. Naked hide-and-seek.
See you at the 2012 games -- if I can find you.
--------
